Cubicle Cat
by SomeNavyRecruit
Summary: A normal work day for Alfred turns into a day of revelation when a voice suddenly chimes in from up above.  Some suggestive themes but overall just written for laughs.


Here's another one just for fun. I saw one of my instructors who was really tall walk around and he was like, head and shoulders above the cubicles lolol so this story was born!

I have written the first chapter of my vamp/were story but I'm going to hold back on posting until I have more chapters up for you guys, just so you don't have to wait long lol. Is anyone looking forward to it? I am haha but I love that sort of thing.

I don't own Hetalia, Finding Nemo, or Jaws.

**xXx**

Alfred sat behind his computer, lazily playing solitaire when he should have been working. He'd been going on Facebook for a while but then the boss had found out because apparently the sites they went to were monitored by the company. Didn't that violate some of his human rights or something? It was un-American to refuse him his Facebook time!

"Alfred!" The blond jumped and whipped around, giving a slight laugh when he saw the blazing green eyes of his cubicle neighbor, Arthur. The British man always snuck up on him, ever since they bought the new cubicle walls for privacy. They were taller than the last kind, effectively hiding the Brit; and the man himself was so very quiet, even in his dress shoes. He gave Alfred a near heart-attack almost every day and most of the time the taller blond swore it was on purpose.

Not that the constant near-death experiences did anything to deter Alfred enjoying the new found privacy whenever he was strategically the last to go home for work. The thrill of maybe being caught but being hidden behind high walls really got him going.

The hidden tissue box in his desk drawer were pretty well used, if he did say so himself.

"Yes, Arthur?" He asked innocently enough while clicking the game closed in the background and flashing a winning smile. The older man huffed at him and leaned against one side of his neighbors cubicle entrance, crossing his arms.

"You were shirking work again, weren't you?" Arthur narrowed his eyes at the other, thick brows pulling together dangerously. Alfred sighed petulantly and lifted a pen, twirling it around in his fingers as he spoke.

"Come on man, I have all day to do just like, 3 things of papers. I'm doing good!" Alfred dropped the pen and immediately swiveled his chair to reach for it, tongue sticking out as his fingers brushed it just out of reach. He strained for it, the arm of his chair digging into his side as he leaned over, almost, almosssssst-

"Honestly Alfred, just get out of your chair, git." Arthur grumbled, watching his sad excuse of a coworker continue to struggle after the pen. Not only was he making life difficult for him but he had plenty of replacement pens on his desk.

"You are an idiot, da?" The rich voice slid into the small space and made both blonds' jump, Arthur looking over his shoulder while Alfred sat up straight in his chair and fixed his glasses that had gone askew.

Both green and blue gazes narrowed suspiciously when they didn't see the silver haired man near the entryway. Ivan was a big man, there was no way they wouldn't have been able to spot him a mile away if he was near so how had he spoken to them?

A soft giggle issued from behind them and both spun around, Arthur's feet swiveling while Alfred utilized his rolly-chair to its utmost advantage next to office drag racing. Alfred yelped at the sight he was met with, visibly paling before annoyance took over his features and he stood up, the rolly-chair sliding back and crashing into Arthur's knees.

"That is so not fair!" The blond pointed and snarled, completely missing the aggravated cursing going on behind him. In front of him was one of his decorated cubicle walls, artfully displaying epic sports figures and cool explosions and cut outs of men and women that weren't exactly 'safe for work' but that he'd put up anyway because who _doesn't _want to see hot super models eating burgers or washing cars or licking knives and caressing guns?

Ruining the whole picture of awesome that was his work space, though, was _Ivan. _

Standing a full head above the cubicle wall and easily peering down into Alfred's personal space, just _watching_ _him._

"Why are you so damn tall! I thought we bought the new walls so this _wouldn't _happen!" Alfred whined the words and pointed even more dramatically at the Russian, stepping over to the once innocent wall that had been his defense between himself and Ivan ever since he'd started working here. The man was creepy and Alfred had been more than happy when the boss had announced new walls for increased privacy but now look where he was. The walls did absolutely nothing to deter the giant Russian.

"Creepy people like you shouldn't be allowed to be this tall!" The blond continued, a blush of anger forming on his cheeks as the violet eyes appraised his accusing finger with nothing more than a smug look and an inclined head.

Rotten commie bastard.

"You are not so short yourself, Fredka." Ivan smiled creepily down at him, pleased to have proved his theory right to himself. He'd been spying on his American neighbor like this ever since the new installation of cubicle walls. Of course he'd watched him before, too, since Alfred was so fascinatingly stupid, but he'd been caught every time because of how looming a presence he was.

Now Ivan could easily spy on him since the wall was so high Alfred would have to tip his head back to see him. Most of the time the blond was too focused on his computer to notice anything else around him.

"When you walk, your hair shows." Ivan reached over the barrier and fingered the stray curl of blond that stuck up from Alfred's unruly locks, interest creeping into his violet eyes when the American gave a little shiver and white teeth came out to bite at a plump lower-lip. "It is like the fish movie you American's love to quote."

"Fish movie?" Alfred's frustration was momentarily forgotten in place of furrowing his brows, trying to figure out what movie the ruski could be referring to. He considered himself a pretty decent movie buff and didn't like not catching a reference, especially if it was tied in with a joke about him. "What, Finding Nemo?"

"Nyet." Ivan shook his head and tugged at the soft hair, lips curling when he took note of how Alfred's body seemed to twitch from the stimulation. His violet eyes sparked with mischief as he continued. "The killer fish movie. You American's quote the sound track often."

"Quote a sound track?" Alfred was even more confused by that. What movie had a killer fish and an awesome sound track? The first thought when he heard killer fish was piranha, but that wasn't a very quotable movie...wait...sharks were fish..."Do you mean Jaws?"

"Da!" Ivan smiled as Alfred finally named the movie, letting go of his hair and patting his head gently, like a dog that had done well. "You are like the fish from Jaws when you walk by."

"...Dude that's so not funny." Alfred huffed and crossed his arms childishly. He was starting to hate these stupid new walls. First Arthur's short enough to sneak up on him, then Ivan's tall enough to go all super-spy on him, and _then _he finds out that they are the perfect height for his cowlick to stick up and look like a shark-fin. Perfect.

"Nyet, it is very amusing. Especially when you are stressed and cannot stop walking back and forth." Ivan giggled again. His eyes were slightly mocking when he spoke again, glimmering with knowledge that made Alfred uneasy. "Also, remember that you are never the last one to leave this office, da?"

"Remember that..." The blond's face paled before blood rushed to his cheeks, the waxing and waning of color happening so fast he felt slightly dizzy, as if the transition from horror to embarrassment had physically thrown off his equilibrium.

He sat down heavily in his chair, somehow managing to catch it with a wayward hand and pull it under him without even looking at his injured British friend. Blue eyes refused to meet violet or green, the owner feeling suddenly nauseous.

"Alfred? What did he mean by that?" Arthur asked, confused on why his colleague was acting so strangely. The Russian's smug, knowing look made him both angry and even more lost. He nearly snarled at the younger man, forcibly turning the taller blond's favored rolly-chair so he'd have to face the Brit. "Will you tell me what the bloody hell is going on?"

"Uh...no." Alfred flushed somehow darker and shook his head even more, licking his lips before shaking his head no with slightly more confidence. "It's uh...it's nothing. I just don't like being referenced to a great white shark...Well! I'm going to start working now why don't you head back to your side of the world and we'll have lunch together or something okay bye!"

The blond didn't pause throughout his sudden chipper speech, getting out of his chair and scooping up the pen before practically shoving his friend out of the cubicle and in the direction of his own, poorly dodging any other questions the British man had and promising he'd get his paperwork done before lunch so they could take a long break together.

When he got back he slumped in his chair again, glancing nervously towards the wall separating himself and Ivan. He sighed in relief when he saw the smiling face gone, turning to his computer and tossing the pen into a holder.

It was time to delete all his porn off the machine and get rid of the box of tissues he kept in the bottom drawer of his desk and he just prayed to _God_ he could look Ivan in the face again sometime this year.

**xXx**

Cubicle-cat!Ivan is always watching...Da?


End file.
